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Friday, March 16, 2012


Charlottesville alcoholics!
Here’s your first chance of 2012 to party with the crew of your favorite website, Come out to John Paul Jones Arena this Friday and Saturday night at 7:30 for the Advance Auto Parts Monster Jam 2012!!!
The folks behind this website will be in attendance on Friday night in addition to ALL of your favorite monster trucks. And I literally mean EACH AND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF THEM…except apparently my personal favorite since childhood, Bigfoot.

I almost lost interest when I realized he wouldn't be there, but then I knew that there would be so much alcohol involved before, during, and after the event that going still seems absolutely worthwhile. The first 50 people to show up intoxicated and find where the crew are hanging out will get a free t-shirt!* Yeah swag!

Tickets to this thing are dirt cheap...assuming you have any friends that is. In groups of 4 tix can be purchased at a discounted price of $10/each. If you can’t manage to wrangle at least 3 other people into going to this gasoline powered shit-show then either a) get new friends or b) go hang out at Blue Light Grill where the lame yuppie companions you already associate with will probably be looking to spread thier STIs.
FYI - if you purchase tix in person at the JPJ box office you avoid the ABSURD $6.50 in fees associated with EACH ticket when you buy them online. I’m not a scientist, though I actually do have two science degrees…from colleges, but I think the online fees are 65% of the ticket price. Fuck you Tickmaster. Instead, at the box office the fees total a much more modest $2.50/ticket.
That’s for the upper level…and don’t even ask about the ticket prices in the lower level or “Gold Seating Area.” The fact that you’re looking at this website right now lets me know you don’t wanna pay full price for anything ever (which is a good thing) but let’s not even bother.
Last but not least…as a special bonus the Charlottesville Derby Dames will be putting on an exhibition when doors open at 6:30 for the Friday show, so get there early and check that shit out!

(Yes we actually made that video btw.)
…if you turn up late and miss our derby friends, the moderators of this website will personally ban you from using for the next 2 weeks. And no one wants to pay full prices for their drinks, so do the right thing and get your butt to the show!
See you out there (at least on Friday night). We’ll be the group in the cheapest, upper reaches of the upper level, totally drunk, laughing our asses off, and having a great time…and handing out 50 t-shirts. Fuck yeah, God Bless America.

*Editor's note: this is not true.


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